Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Little flash back

this picture was taken just a day or two after this event

In about six hours 1 year ago i got a call from the hospital telling me that Shayla was back on the ventilator after being off it for 2 weeks and that she wasn't stabilizing she had, had fevers through out the day and was having a hard time breathing with them but we weren't sure where they were coming from and they had pulled cultures from her several times and nothing grew back from them me and mike headed up to the hospital as soon as we got the call i couldn't breathe at all to go directly to her room so i had sat outside the hospital for a minute and tried to breathe and think semi straight and had a smoke i remember the security guard that was on that night look at me funny and the security guard at the house don as a matter of fact telling me it will be OK. I remember that day like it was yesterday Dr. Beaden came up to us (at this time i had major issues with him) and said "look i know you guys don't like me but we aren't able to get Shayla stable you know her normally she stables right after we put her back on the vent but shes not we are going to have to think about ecmo (life support)" Me and mike wanted to sock him so bad we didn't know what to do we just lost it we went out and called all our family and let them know what was going on and that from the sounds of things they needed to come and see her the only ones that came that was my dad my aunt and my mom that i remember my sister came and went but didn't see her my step mom was there as well for me. Alot of our family just couldn't get flights and if they could they might not have made it in time. I remember them calling us when we were outside and asking me if i wanted to consent over the phone to put her on life support I told them no i will be up there to sign the papers and see her before she went. When we got up there i pretty much layed on top of her telling her that she has to pull through just a little while longer and that she could do it she just has to for me and that i loved her so much and i couldn't loose her and that i would see her after she came back. then her dad said his good byes and that he loved her. they took her back and about and hour and a half later Dr. Beaden came out with a smile on his face and all i could think was you erragent ass whole but he came in sat down and told us that she stabled out that they got her on the table sliced her leg to put in the arterial line and that she purked up i was soo happy and thanked him for what he had done i stayed the night that night and the next day during rounds Shayla woke up and started touching my face for the first time ever since she had been in the hospital and looked at me with eyes telling me that everything was OK i just started crying during rounds but to look at her now with her new heart and all you would never think that any of that had ever happened she is so happy and playful and gibber jabbering and laughing most of the time i think she is just mocking us lol. I know that this is a long and sad story but it is and always will be a part of our life.

This one was taken just a couple of days ago